Thank you Lord for giving me the best of both worlds.
It's always comforting to have someone who
cares so much especially during rough days.
Thanks! <3
A girl smiled with the results slip in her hand, expectedly, she aced in all her subjects. She felt a lil bitter over her A2 for Biology but she took pride in her all her achievements. Simply because she knew she put in enough effort and that she deserved it.
Yesterday, she realized there were more in life, that girl no longer scored in everything. She would heave the biggest sigh of relief at a mere borderline pass. Because she knew she didn't put in enough effort and no longer felt deserving of any achievements.
Today, she wants to fare better. She misses the glorious moments when she took pride of her effort. But then again, it has been too long since she last strived. She no longer could cope with the stress. Kiasu is no longer a motivating friend. The time cooped up in the wards and home creep at such a slow pace that one day feels like a century. Things were obviously getting tougher. The determination fades once it penetrates the boundaries. It's like filling an uncapped bottle and if it isn't emptied from time to time, it overflows. There just isn't any space to accommodate anything else. Everything else added goes to waste.
I cry for what life has changed her into.
I feel remorse for making the wrong decisions for her.
I feel sorry she has been clenching for too long.
I tear for what I have done to that girl.
*
Crisis #28: Paradoxically I'm missing my laid back life when I'm stressing out so badly now. Heck, I thought I love being occupied and having something in mind everytime because I'm so efficient like that. I plan everything out ahead mentally everyday/moment so that I won't miss a second only inhaling oxygen and not doing anything else. When I'm in a shower I plan for bedtime, when I'm driving thats when I took time to talk to God, list out my to do list and my weekends hangouts. I whatsapp deliberately to stay in touch with the loved ones with another hand doing something else. When I'm walking everyday (yes, the distance I torture my legs with daily is supermassive, at least for me it is) I say prayers or call my friends for short catch ups just because I don't want to miss out on any important updates and I don't have daily prayer meetings with the housemates anymore. I make my mind work non stop so that time is fully utilized and occupied to the brim. I plan. and multitask. and make sure every single second don't go to waste. and make haste. and hurry myself. and be proud of being efficient....
But I'm exhausted. I think this is kind of a wrong way to live.
*
Here I am now, after some time hovering over the keyboard not knowing what I want, finally stretching out my heavy arms typing away because I want every lesson learnt and every crisis to be remembered.
Life is bliss when you're still conscious! Now, I'm willingly emptying half the bottle, there, Space! =) For God and the loved ones and myself. Love and be loved.
Noted.
Thanks for all the patience and love you had for me.
1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Olive You.
She was wearing the same old G2000 top for the 99th time. Except that she was much slimmer now and she actually looked beautiful. Girls in love.
' What? The baby and mother could have died at week 38! Ha ha ha'
Little does she know her 'ha ha ha' ruined my day. Self esteem challenged. I felt compressive discomfort in my left sternal edge.
I never felt this stupid. I cleared my throat and admitted that I didn't read on that. It was entirely my fault. But things would be different if I wasn't overexhausted from literally 'long standing' bedside teachings and ward work everyday.
It was sheer bad luck my best girlfriends happened to blow off our dates last minute. All at the same time. But I could not think positive today. After some quick lunch, I drifted home quickly along with 'You Are Not Alone- by Shayne Ward' played repeatedly on my iPod.
I have an idiopathic problem with posing alone and conveying inner thoughts. Well, most of the time I don't have to, either I give up halfway or I don't mind at all. You know, the awkward moment right after you spill something and your friend gives you an oh-my-God-you-actually-thought-so look? - and proceeds to judge you silently. 'Yayaya, now I sound like a complete idiot to you', at the same time regretting every word said before.
I thought I found someone who truly understands me. But at the end of the day, guess Shayne Ward was wrong after all, I am alone. *shrugs
Everyone is an individual. We all try so hard to look nonchalant even when our hearts are screaming. There is a reason why we don't cry in public and hide our tears whenever we shed them. We have stress but we don't go around yelling 'stress!' to our neighbours.
Still, the ratio of depressing/frustrating to joyful status on Facebook is like say, 10:1? Often times we keep happiness only to ourselves and loved ones. And it hurts me when the same person you shared joy with fails to understand your less joyful circumstances. Nevertheless, Thank you Lord for being there to listen to everything because I know you'd never judge a little bit.
Gosh I hate being too vulnerable. Its when expectations kick in and disappointments follow. Everytime I attempt a 'worst day ever' post I end up with the worst heartbreak. I kind of hope its not the same this time. I hope it's all different this time because he's an angel sent from heaven. If it's meant to be, my superstition can wait.
My life now? There's only one single exact short term aim : which is to survive everyday. The moment I approach and push open the big glass door in Main Block GHKL every morning, my heart sinks. The only fun times about learning are in the 1st few weeks of posting. After that you survive on your own, bury your head in books 24/7 or be prepared to be screwed anytime. Alone.
3 months. *fingers crossed
We mourn all day for one man who lived and died in wealth. Thousands die everyday from diseases and poverty yet we don't even feel a bit sorry. Come on, who are we bluffing? The world's just ignorant. So am I. WE NEED TO CHANGE.
I don't know what I've been doing and who I am for the past 2 months. It all started 7 months ago.. I was really happy. But,
Wonder where this will lead me to? Is my presence really significant or am I just another passerby? Me and my 1001 questions flowing in and out through my mind.
Today is just a wrap up of miseries, frustration and joy. I hope I can come to an answer for it. God please guide me with this. Amen.
I'm typing this for the second time. It took me an hour last night and another 2 hours this afternoon finishing this post before I smartly highlighted every single word for a larger font and hit the 'backspace' button instead. I'm furious. I'm trying to stay calm while recalling my words from last night and 2 hours ago. Yes, I'm determined like that.
***
I can never express this. The one million and one things sprinting in my head now. This must be one helluva contemplative night for me with a couple of thought provoking issues to ponder about. Tomorrow is 709, the day the rakyats stand up and voice out the injustice and disappointment. The day the issue everyone has been talking about for a month will take place. The day tear gases and water cannons will be tossed all around the town. The chaos, the mess we can never imagine, all the mights and what ifs will happen, while I, on the other hand will be seated right in front of my trusted laptop, keeping myself updated with the live updates and Twitter from the internet. Oh wait, I don't even have a Twitter account. Keeping Malaysia in prayers at the same time, leaving Malaysia in Your arms, Heavenly Father, Amen.
***
Now that's the problem with me. I can never finish a complete blogpost at one time. It was 3pm while I was working on my unfinished post, seated at the same position I mentioned last night, checking out videos of water firings and innocent people arrested. God knows what was on 'their' minds when they decided to fire tear gases and water cannons into Tung Shin Hospital. It was just tragic. I want to make a change, I want to join Edmund and the rest there instead of sitting here doing nothing at all. I want to lift a helping hand, but after all said and done, I'm STILL seated here with more than the one million and one thoughts arousing issues from last night to contemplate about. We've done our part by keeping Malaysia in constant prayers, we've fulfilled our responsibilites as children by staying home and not risking our safety out there.
'For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. '
- 1 Timothy 6:10
Believing money is (sometimes) the root of evil, that includes authority of course, it proved me right the day Ambiga revealed the evidence of their ugly truths. It not only leaves us a depressing state of mind knowing the truth but not being able to contribute anything to it, it reflects how ignorant those so called leaders are. Were they even aware that while they were busy distracted by wealth (corruption) and respective God-knows-what-ambitions, there were people struggling with their end stage lung cancer who would give anything to have another day spent with their loved ones? Do they even give a damn? No prize for guessing the answer.
A trip back and forth Hospis Malaysia and several home visits yesterday wasn't just another ordinary logbook signing session. I was pleased to come to know about the palliative health care system is Malaysia which exists and is running (surprisingly) efficiently. But then again, sadly corruption still exist. Reselling donated items (supplements, for this case) wasnt entirely illegal nor will it lead to a huge loss, it was the problem with the ethics among people. Be it a minor or a major corruption, it was the ethics they seem to be lacking of. Another self reminder to myself, to be ethical regardless of position, be it as a doctor, a friend, a police, or even sou dei ah sams, should have ethics.
Today, we're tearing the masks off the hypocrites' faces. Their complete ignorance towards lives and cherishing others can not be forgiven. I don't want to sound like some stupid patriotic writer blogging about campaigns, I'm shallow and I know it. I ain't no superhero and I'm jotting all these down not for your reading satisfaction but for self reminder. Great leaders like Ambiga nor Anwar can be motivational at times, but the patients from the couple of home visits we dropped by yesterday were truly inspiring. They suffer not only from painful jabs nor the many lines insertion, it was the mental torture that matters. Worried of unfinished business? Reluctance to leave the loved ones behind? Regretting every mistake they made in the past and hoping for a turn back of time? We never know.
This rewrited post is to serve as a reminder for me to appreciate things while I can and not be blinded. Be it by relationships, friendships, materials (although I would really love to own a Macbook Air). On a side note, being vulnerable isnt a good idea at all. Inspired from the book 'He's just not that into you'. That will be another long helluva thought provoking cheesy post I shall leave for the next round.
Now that the 709 has ended, I'm still seated right at the same position from the beginning, and will not have anything to share with the grandchildren... not. 50 years later when my grandson questions me about 709, I'll be telling him proudly that, 'Ah Ma was a more punctual and tidy person since that day.'
Yes you guessed it right. I've tailor made a couple of resolutions in conjunction with the historical day today. If we can't contribute anything to change Malaysia's destiny, why not change some of our bad habits/attitude? Cut down on some alcohol intake? Cease one or two ciggies per day? Hook up less on Facebook or online games? Spend more quality time with the family and you can make a change for yourself. We still have the time before any regrets in future. I don't want to end up bed bound with a urine catether inserted, my 3rd resolution is to exercise more and a slight change in my diet.
Cheers! To a better Jessie, and I hope the same goes for you if you're reading this. We all deserve to be better individuals, despite the shitty governing, our country is still a beautiful place. Where our families are and where we belong to. Don't let the shit take over our attitudes, bak kata pepatah, 'CHU YU NI ER BU RAN' Woohoo.
I gained something from typing such a long self inspired post. Did you?
To remind myself that despite the eyebags, flaws and disappointments I'm having now,
I'm still feeling blessed. Glory to God for He gave me positive thinking and great companions throughout. Amen! <3
Ps: Today marks the second last day of my third year (that's if i pass finals next week), I'm glad I made it this far. I hope I can move on further. In His guidance and love, whom shall I fear! Bring it on babeh! =P
Pps: Anyone reading this ar hahahaha. If u ever come across this do drop by and say hello!
I hope I can blog more often now. But what should I blog about? =S
Seriously i do not know how to maintain this blog anymore. Don't get me wrong I'm not suggesting to close down or privatise this blog it will always remain as one of your reading materials when you feel like nosing into my life and laugh at my stupidity (so that you feel a lil more superior and glam) - oh wait, i haven't been posting about my chimakan incidents, have i?
Oklah not only haven't I been writing about my foolishness, I noticed.. it had been a real, dead, long, silent hiatus since... November? See the 5 inch thick dust on the blog? Well, they aren't just merely dust. They're dust I gathered since last November. They're memories I want and don't want to remember since last November. Prolly long before Nov since I haven't been writing properly also don't ask.
The other day during cell group we had a year end sharing session. We were asked to share our 2010, what we've gained throughout and what are the up coming resolutions. I know right, those stupid resolutions we never seem to obey. Don't go against it also hallelujah already wtf.
When it was my turn I was tongue tied wtf. I couldn't remember how my 2010 had been. Scenes of depressing sat luin moments, shocking news I took weeks to accept, jerks I met whom let me down, pointless arguments, selfishness, stressful study weeks, cranky hectic sleep deprived nerdy days and a whole lot of upsetting incidents came flashing in my mind. Whoa, my 2010 had been really sad wasn't it?
Not before I rummaged through in and out of my temporal lobe ( read: brain) I realised my 2010 wasn't that bad after all. In fact, it was brilliantly painted with colors to overshadow the grey hues on the background. I remembered those happy trips, awesome people I met in the wards, school or everywhere around, kindness amid selfishness, snippets of fun and chill outs during weekends, bits of romance which didnt last long but being vulnerable is the only way to feel true pleasure and joy isn't it, my girlfriends? :)
She loved before she may love again. - read this somewhere and it somewhat struck me. It doesn't only apply to relationships but also to families and friends. There's always a second chance.
I could totally remember when was the last time T pissed me off or why did Mum and Dad reject me when I
Now if Pastor were to ask me again, I'll smile, no, I'd chuckle and answer ecstatically like how I gossip with full of enthusiasim on the yumcha table wtf. It's always happier to count your blessings than to mourn over the reason why you cried the last time, no?
Looking back and within, I came to realise that I've actually walked this far. A third year clinical student who just overcame the frightful Professional 2. As much as I want to reminisce those little glees I once had, I am anticipating everything God has for me in future. After all there'll be years of bumpy rides (4th, 5th year, housemanship, medical officer, settling down with my partner oh i wonder if he looks like Brad Pitt or Matt Damon wtf and a looooooooong list) before I finally reach karma (not wanting any attention anymore) and decide to close this blog and shut up forever lols. Till then, I hope I have good news for my (urm anyone out there?) readers every now and then.
Year end is neither an end nor a beginning, its on-going. So don't blame me for this long overdue year end blog post. :P
Little note for today - 14/11/10: Dirty little surprise
Surprises like these only come once in a lifetime. Noted down. :)
Spotted this Charles & Keith bag again. Bummer.
Little note of the day - 13-11-10: Don't dream too far
I'm appalled by how bad relationships can turn out. When it comes to a little bit of requests and demands. I'm now once again assured that besides God, i have only me and myself in this big, cold world.
Little note for today - 9/11/10: Disturbed
Finally the workshop is over. Back to some real stuffs. Like books. and notes. and that little something hidden right at the back of my mind.
I was doing my cwu ( case write up, in case you wonder) and i didnt know how i ended up here. The very long abandoned blog which i approach only when i'm feeling upset/need to air out frustration lol. Who says blog is for you to share both happiness and sorrow. I'm aware that many bloggers only update when they're feeling upset too. Makes me wonder!
This time round I'm not writing because I feel like letting out anger or stupid emo lines lar ok please don't look at me like that. I know right. You're so prepared to sit back and read about my sad life wtf HAKS much to your disappointment! :P
Simply because I'm so stuck with the discussion part I thought a few minutes break would do me good with some instinct inspiration.
Maybe I should start writing short notes everyday. Facebook statuses are kinda too judgable. With limited privacy and over thousands of friends (ahem, yama! LoL) involving surgeons, doctors, shallow people who judge, parents (big constraint here lol) etc, it's not possible to put crappy-but-honest statuses like 'dread going to OTs' or 'i wana get drunk' things like that wtf.
Speaking of which, i feel like skinning stupid people alive with statuses like 'goodnight' or 'hungry wtf' totally brainless! Nobody is interested in your boring life la please tear yourself apart. What drives me up the wall is people who bitch about others. in public. Besides making yourself sound like the REAL bitch, nothing else matters. Maybe your grammatical errors and broken engrish do. :P
See i'm bitching. and i'm judging too LOL. (but defends: I'm not pinpointing just talking in general lor siapa makan chilli rasa pedas la) Anyways, just a piece of my mind. Like it or not live with it.
Ok back to my current life. Not bad I must say. If there is a revolution in life I must say so far it's gonna be the preclinical-to-clinical-year revolution. Drastic changes and routine. It's still a routined life now nevertheless, but everything is different.
You have the days when you wake up feeling all motivated and determined to clerk and examine all the patients in the ward.
You have days when you sit up on bed giving yourself two hundred excuses to not approach any patients (Jessie's top 1 excuse: 'I have sorethroat and I'm err coughing!')
You have days when doctors give you the OMG YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW XXXXXXX! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN STUDYING looks. Sweaty palms, palpitation and hands tremor follows. You make mental-notes telling (more like warning) yourself to study your ass off that night. (mana tau end up yum cha that very night SIGH)
You have the days when a sweet 81 year old grandmother with stroke who still struggles answering medical students' stupid clerking questions moves you.
You have the days when you see doctor performing a bone marrow aspiration (or lumbar puncture or any other painful invasive procedures) you constantly remind yourself to take very good care of your own health. Only to end up sleeping at 4am that night and note: I am still not eating vege SIGH.
Just a few weeks ago when I saw this patient moaning in so much pain while doing colonoscopy freaked me out. If you haven't know I've got very severe constipation. I dont think I like surgical posting because it's very much related to me. Sigh. Have I got rectal Ca, colon Ca, or just intestinal obstruction SIGH mcq.
Now that I've completed my Internal Medicine posting and halfway through surgical, its only a few weeks' left to Proffie 2. *shudders* I hate myself because I just reminded myself about it. *slaps*
Of course, it puts a smile at your face to whenever you get cooperative and friendly patients who don't mind you taking 5 minutes just palpating his/her apex beat (somewhere near the breast fyi) or pressing your abdomen like a roti canai wtf. Kajang hospital patients are such sweeties. :)
There's so much to share but i think i've just figured out a line to continue with my discussion. I hope I didnt bore you. enough. hahahahahah. More to come, folks!
Ps: It's almost the end of the long weekend. Besides going back to hospitals for some voluntary work LOLS and scrubbing in, shopping and catching up with my girls, I was home alone over the weekends. T_T And just today the scrumptious japanese buffet tops it up with an awesome ending and I'm all ready for a brand new week ahead!
Be right back.
God gave me a chance. I didnt appreciate it.
God warned me. I took no notice of it.
God blessed me with so much. I didnt cherish them enough.
I have only myself to blame at this point of life.
Right now, the mind is set. This is probably the end of everything. And the beginning of something. I need to be sure of what I want. and what I need. so badly.
Life has been tooooo happening. :( If only I could use a wish right now.
today, is the first in so so so many days after my last post, i feel truly upset.
the feeling of chest tightness and depressed.
haven't had this feeling since ages.
getting drunk does not help.
laughing at stupid jokes won't make me feel better.
i came to realise
who i really need,
and what i really want.
i hope my journey goes on.
i know this is lame and dull. but my blog ain't for your reading pleasures anymore.
no idea why is life so hard, but it's not gonna bring me down. Because I, have faith.
DUDE, MIND YOUR WORDS.
She's expecting for this so i don't think its a surprise to surprise her with NO blog posts this year so here goes a short one because i'm extremely tired now i want to sleep and never wake up ever again.
Oh who? you mean you don't know?
its her lah! ( yes, say bye to me because she's gonna kill me for this stupid hak-yi picture)thanks for snapping at everything i say all these years. thanks for the honest comments about my ugly hair or ugly bag or ugly taste etc etc. thanks for staying single so i won't feel kong xu wtf HAHAHAHA. thanks for never saying 'no' to any of my invites or spontaneous suggestions. thanks for being supportive when it comes to food. thanks for everything lah wtf every year repeat same thing one lol
i'm not writing long because i'm saving it for next yr! there'll be your 21st, 22nd, 23rd......
cause we'll b partners in crime for quite some time. ( never use forever because it'll onli jinx things up haha)
presenting you the birthday girl today..
Jing Ling! =D Happy 20th!Jing Ling please stop reading thankiu. its the end.
Note: Vivian don't jealous ya i still love you as much just that i'm really SO tired now i promise i bou fan a post ( longer and yuk ma-er than this one confirm coz this 1 i cincai write to satisfy the demanding queen lol) soon. hahahah.
Warlowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
ROARRR I'm back!
Sarawak trip was a blasttttt! U can prolly wait for my next post which is never gonna come hahahahah so why not lets talk about some random stuffs.
Like Oh wait I decided to not blog emo again because that would make strangers think I'm an emo person when everyone knows I'm not wtf. How I came to realise? When I tend to judge people by saying 'Ooooh Peter ah, neh that emo dude I read his emo blog one' wtf hahahaha so I made up my mind to put an eternal end to all the miserable posts and blog about something happy. Which is kinda hard because shit usually happens to me and erm basically nothing much significant to talk about wtf
SO *cracks knuckles* we shall talk about
my 20th birthday lol SHIT i can't believe i'm typing out 20 myself now.
These are the my lovely girls!
So we dined at Scrumptious, Jalan Ampang.
Great place I must say LOLS. What is this hahahhaa sorry guys I don't know how to blog anymore T_____T now I'm doubting if I should write about my HK trip. So much for the desire of leaving something for me to read back when I'm an aged 67 yr old grandmother! Oh back!
So here are my girls again hahahahha just in case you forgot LoL they are Mei Yie, Keat Sin and Jing Ling. (who desperately wants to b mentioned because she checks out this blog for her name only lol)
This is I City.
Needs no further explanation. (= Overall it was a happy birthday! I thought it was like just another day ( err i kinda hang out with my friends on DAILY BASIS so its not like birthday is something special anymore hahahahaha we could have done more spontaneous and fun things on ordinary days so i'd say everyday is a birthday if you've got the right people around! <3>
Dinner with partner Kar Yee and Kar Ying! Thanks for the meal darlings! (both KYS! khai yaan your position threatened! hahahhaa jkjk! I miss you yap khai yaan!)
Dinner at D Fortune. My fortune cookie for that day. *read yourself*
So here are my girls again hahahahha just in case you forgot LoL they are Mei Yie, Keat Sin and Jing Ling. (who desperately wants to b mentioned because she checks out this blog for her name only lol)
This is I City.
Needs no further explanation. (= Overall it was a happy birthday! I thought it was like just another day ( err i kinda hang out with my friends on DAILY BASIS so its not like birthday is something special anymore hahahahaha we could have done more spontaneous and fun things on ordinary days so i'd say everyday is a birthday if you've got the right people around! <3>
I spent most of the days after my bday contemplating about being a 20 yr old grown up wtf. Like how should I change, both mentally and physically, like how should I talk, how should I blog, how to counter with patients ( sigh srsly right now when you're single and you've got no one else but your future to think about, you tend to divert all your attention into your career and start making PLANSSSSSSS like ie what to wear for wards next year what bag should I bring wtf nolaaaaah - I'm dead serious about my studies now, like for real. I hope I can fare better in the coming years, i know i know, fucking nerdy but sad to say its the ugly truth. :( Life's like that. I only want to be a better student. :( )
BACKK BACKKK yiu why do I get distracted so easily hahahaha.
Dinner with partner Kar Yee and Kar Ying! Thanks for the meal darlings! (both KYS! khai yaan your position threatened! hahahhaa jkjk! I miss you yap khai yaan!)
Dinner at D Fortune. My fortune cookie for that day. *read yourself*
What now, i very not sincere meh. Yiu.
Gathering with the A Lvls sweetiessss! (=
Gathering with the A Lvls sweetiessss! (=
Ok thats all line sucks I wanna get this done.
To be continued.
Labels: pictures
Srsly I don't even know what I want. and it drives me crazy not knowing what I want! Shit everything's in a mess now and life's so piled up with poop.
PATHETIC.
Labels: emo
Short note while I'm doing DIY hairspa:
life now is:
hectic but fulfilling.
busy but stress- free.
am working my ass off but am playing my limbs off harder.
The past 2 weeks were pretty great. Had pretty much fun the few days after exams. Great hangouts with the best companion I can find in the world. Hong Kong was adventurous and happening. With great travelling buddies on an awesome island, it was a perfect and flawless trip! Photos are all around FB its pointless posting em here again hahaha. I'd love to blog about EVERYTHING about HK but... nothing. Suddenly I'm so not used to typing and talking to myself again. I'd prefer a two ways conversation, PM me or text me anytime hahahahahhaa i'm that kind of people who dies for responses and attention wtf *whore
Ok times up wtf it took me 3.5 minutes of my precious hectic life because life now is like wake up, rush to work, lunch break, eat alone/ shop alone/ if im lucky i'll hv lovely people over for meals, back to work, watch tai tais walk in with Coach, LV, Longchamp and Gucci ( today special, got 1 turned up with Fendi hahahaha so far I havent been seeing any1 with Miu Miu yet though), talk crap and find stupid topics with colleagues, talk to customers, play with DSLRs ( oh yes I'm currently working part time in Canon One Utama, do not drop by because my Canon T Shirt is very ugly), dinner break, walk into Coach and stare dreamily at their bags for the umpteenth time, 10pm sign out and dash for late night suppers or yum cha.
Today was a record. 6 Coach, 9 freaking Longchamp, more than 6 LVs, 2 Pradas, 1 Burberry, a few Guccis ( haha i dont really like Gucci) and 1 Fendi.
Aaaah. Life. (:
SHIT gotta start packing now will be off to Sarawak in 11 hours. I need to catch up on some sleep. like, SERIOUSLY.
Notes to self: I need to rest GAO GAO when I'm back. Do snap at me if i don't. Bad feeling I'm gonna drop dead soon. :( *gloomy
Labels: update
