Jessie's Eden

Wednesday, January 26, 2011 @1:10 AM

Seriously i do not know how to maintain this blog anymore. Don't get me wrong I'm not suggesting to close down or privatise this blog it will always remain as one of your reading materials when you feel like nosing into my life and laugh at my stupidity (so that you feel a lil more superior and glam) - oh wait, i haven't been posting about my chimakan incidents, have i?

Oklah not only haven't I been writing about my foolishness, I noticed.. it had been a real, dead, long, silent hiatus since... November? See the 5 inch thick dust on the blog? Well, they aren't just merely dust. They're dust I gathered since last November. They're memories I want and don't want to remember since last November. Prolly long before Nov since I haven't been writing properly also don't ask.

The other day during cell group we had a year end sharing session. We were asked to share our 2010, what we've gained throughout and what are the up coming resolutions. I know right, those stupid resolutions we never seem to obey. Don't go against it also hallelujah already wtf.

When it was my turn I was tongue tied wtf. I couldn't remember how my 2010 had been. Scenes of depressing sat luin moments, shocking news I took weeks to accept, jerks I met whom let me down, pointless arguments, selfishness, stressful study weeks, cranky hectic sleep deprived nerdy days and a whole lot of upsetting incidents came flashing in my mind. Whoa, my 2010 had been really sad wasn't it?

Not before I rummaged through in and out of my temporal lobe ( read: brain) I realised my 2010 wasn't that bad after all. In fact, it was brilliantly painted with colors to overshadow the grey hues on the background. I remembered those happy trips, awesome people I met in the wards, school or everywhere around, kindness amid selfishness, snippets of fun and chill outs during weekends, bits of romance which didnt last long but being vulnerable is the only way to feel true pleasure and joy isn't it, my girlfriends? :)

She loved before she may love again. - read this somewhere and it somewhat struck me. It doesn't only apply to relationships but also to families and friends. There's always a second chance.

I could totally remember when was the last time T pissed me off or why did Mum and Dad reject me when I ~~demanded~~ asked for something. Now this is the problem with me - I always remember the ugly side of things. Repeatedly asked for His forgiveness and confessed my shameful sins but to no avail. This time, I'm determined. Determined to let go of those unwanted memory space occupying issues, for they are and will be the people who make my days worthwhile and prove the significance of my living. I don't want to wake up one day and regret not cherishing the wonderful moments of my 2010.

Now if Pastor were to ask me again, I'll smile, no, I'd chuckle and answer ecstatically like how I gossip with full of enthusiasim on the yumcha table wtf. It's always happier to count your blessings than to mourn over the reason why you cried the last time, no?

Looking back and within, I came to realise that I've actually walked this far. A third year clinical student who just overcame the frightful Professional 2. As much as I want to reminisce those little glees I once had, I am anticipating everything God has for me in future. After all there'll be years of bumpy rides (4th, 5th year, housemanship, medical officer, settling down with my partner oh i wonder if he looks like Brad Pitt or Matt Damon wtf and a looooooooong list) before I finally reach karma (not wanting any attention anymore) and decide to close this blog and shut up forever lols. Till then, I hope I have good news for my (urm anyone out there?) readers every now and then.

Year end is neither an end nor a beginning, its on-going. So don't blame me for this long overdue year end blog post. :P

Things you need to know about the Author

1. Jessie's her name.
2. Regrets revealing age on her blog add.
3. Superficially fine, some say she's aneroxic but she knows where her lumps are.
4. Skeptical young lady curious about life. and the Bermuda Triangle wtf
5. Born with a weird sense of humour, laughs at things others don't find funny.
6. Can't stay in on a Friday night.
7. Not your ordinary teenage girl/blogger.
8. Ain't no fashionista but finds shopping urm, adrenaline-rushing?
9. Secretly wishes for bigger boobs and world peace wtf.
10. May be suffering from crap toxicity, stay away if you're allergic.
11. Gossips are so-so, the juicier the better wtf.
12. Big emo kid, handle with appropriate care.
13. Constant PMSes.
14. One minute she's hyper, the next she sulks.
15. Can be really spiteful at times.
16. Loves: Sales, MCs, vacations, sleeping in, bolster, the folks & God.
17. Dreads: Sweat, Constipation, Slow laptops/phones, Having no clue what is she doing in a Med School, Lonely weekends, Out of cash.

Now you find out the rest. =)

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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