Jessie's Eden

Saturday, July 9, 2011 @5:09 PM

I'm typing this for the second time. It took me an hour last night and another 2 hours this afternoon finishing this post before I smartly highlighted every single word for a larger font and hit the 'backspace' button instead. I'm furious. I'm trying to stay calm while recalling my words from last night and 2 hours ago. Yes, I'm determined like that.

***

I can never express this. The one million and one things sprinting in my head now. This must be one helluva contemplative night for me with a couple of thought provoking issues to ponder about. Tomorrow is 709, the day the rakyats stand up and voice out the injustice and disappointment. The day the issue everyone has been talking about for a month will take place. The day tear gases and water cannons will be tossed all around the town. The chaos, the mess we can never imagine, all the mights and what ifs will happen, while I, on the other hand will be seated right in front of my trusted laptop, keeping myself updated with the live updates and Twitter from the internet. Oh wait, I don't even have a Twitter account. Keeping Malaysia in prayers at the same time, leaving Malaysia in Your arms, Heavenly Father, Amen.

***

Now that's the problem with me. I can never finish a complete blogpost at one time. It was 3pm while I was working on my unfinished post, seated at the same position I mentioned last night, checking out videos of water firings and innocent people arrested. God knows what was on 'their' minds when they decided to fire tear gases and water cannons into Tung Shin Hospital. It was just tragic. I want to make a change, I want to join Edmund and the rest there instead of sitting here doing nothing at all. I want to lift a helping hand, but after all said and done, I'm STILL seated here with more than the one million and one thoughts arousing issues from last night to contemplate about. We've done our part by keeping Malaysia in constant prayers, we've fulfilled our responsibilites as children by staying home and not risking our safety out there.

'For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. '
- 1 Timothy 6:10

Believing money is (sometimes) the root of evil, that includes authority of course, it proved me right the day Ambiga revealed the evidence of their ugly truths. It not only leaves us a depressing state of mind knowing the truth but not being able to contribute anything to it, it reflects how ignorant those so called leaders are. Were they even aware that while they were busy distracted by wealth (corruption) and respective God-knows-what-ambitions, there were people struggling with their end stage lung cancer who would give anything to have another day spent with their loved ones? Do they even give a damn? No prize for guessing the answer.

A trip back and forth Hospis Malaysia and several home visits yesterday wasn't just another ordinary logbook signing session. I was pleased to come to know about the palliative health care system is Malaysia which exists and is running (surprisingly) efficiently. But then again, sadly corruption still exist. Reselling donated items (supplements, for this case) wasnt entirely illegal nor will it lead to a huge loss, it was the problem with the ethics among people. Be it a minor or a major corruption, it was the ethics they seem to be lacking of. Another self reminder to myself, to be ethical regardless of position, be it as a doctor, a friend, a police, or even sou dei ah sams, should have ethics.

Today, we're tearing the masks off the hypocrites' faces. Their complete ignorance towards lives and cherishing others can not be forgiven. I don't want to sound like some stupid patriotic writer blogging about campaigns, I'm shallow and I know it. I ain't no superhero and I'm jotting all these down not for your reading satisfaction but for self reminder. Great leaders like Ambiga nor Anwar can be motivational at times, but the patients from the couple of home visits we dropped by yesterday were truly inspiring. They suffer not only from painful jabs nor the many lines insertion, it was the mental torture that matters. Worried of unfinished business? Reluctance to leave the loved ones behind? Regretting every mistake they made in the past and hoping for a turn back of time? We never know.

This rewrited post is to serve as a reminder for me to appreciate things while I can and not be blinded. Be it by relationships, friendships, materials (although I would really love to own a Macbook Air). On a side note, being vulnerable isnt a good idea at all. Inspired from the book 'He's just not that into you'. That will be another long helluva thought provoking cheesy post I shall leave for the next round.

Now that the 709 has ended, I'm still seated right at the same position from the beginning, and will not have anything to share with the grandchildren... not. 50 years later when my grandson questions me about 709, I'll be telling him proudly that, 'Ah Ma was a more punctual and tidy person since that day.'

Yes you guessed it right. I've tailor made a couple of resolutions in conjunction with the historical day today. If we can't contribute anything to change Malaysia's destiny, why not change some of our bad habits/attitude? Cut down on some alcohol intake? Cease one or two ciggies per day? Hook up less on Facebook or online games? Spend more quality time with the family and you can make a change for yourself. We still have the time before any regrets in future. I don't want to end up bed bound with a urine catether inserted, my 3rd resolution is to exercise more and a slight change in my diet.

Cheers! To a better Jessie, and I hope the same goes for you if you're reading this. We all deserve to be better individuals, despite the shitty governing, our country is still a beautiful place. Where our families are and where we belong to. Don't let the shit take over our attitudes, bak kata pepatah, 'CHU YU NI ER BU RAN' Woohoo.

I gained something from typing such a long self inspired post. Did you?

Labels: 709, hospis

Things you need to know about the Author

1. Jessie's her name.
2. Regrets revealing age on her blog add.
3. Superficially fine, some say she's aneroxic but she knows where her lumps are.
4. Skeptical young lady curious about life. and the Bermuda Triangle wtf
5. Born with a weird sense of humour, laughs at things others don't find funny.
6. Can't stay in on a Friday night.
7. Not your ordinary teenage girl/blogger.
8. Ain't no fashionista but finds shopping urm, adrenaline-rushing?
9. Secretly wishes for bigger boobs and world peace wtf.
10. May be suffering from crap toxicity, stay away if you're allergic.
11. Gossips are so-so, the juicier the better wtf.
12. Big emo kid, handle with appropriate care.
13. Constant PMSes.
14. One minute she's hyper, the next she sulks.
15. Can be really spiteful at times.
16. Loves: Sales, MCs, vacations, sleeping in, bolster, the folks & God.
17. Dreads: Sweat, Constipation, Slow laptops/phones, Having no clue what is she doing in a Med School, Lonely weekends, Out of cash.

Now you find out the rest. =)

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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